Everyone experiences loss. No one escapes this life unhurt by its cruelty and the agony and devastation it leads to. Though loss is universal in nature, every individual will have a different experience from the loss they face. For some it may be thru the passing of a daughter or son or partner. Others will face a brake up of their marriage or family or a chronic sickness such as cancer or the loss of their job that had provided for their family. Your loss may arrive by way of a ruined reputation, betrayal by a good friend or rejection by a loved one. No matter how our loss arrives, when we lose something we treasured and of course is important to us, the agony and discomfort is inevitable, changing our life forever.
Because I have journeyed thru some significant losses in my life I have an understanding of the devastation of loss in a person's life. Yet, as I’ve grown and matured, not so much in age and experience but in the ways of God, I am beginning to see and understand how the pain and heartache of loss, that any loss, can be healed and used by God to expand my soul and grow and strengthen me as person. Not so I'll take great pride in myself am for having dealt with my losses and overcame them, imagine the sadness, if there was nothing else in my life except overcoming losses. God does more than that, He expands our soul, grows, and strengthens us, in the midst of the hurt in our life, its so our Heavenly Father will be able to open our eyes to a life that's bigger than ourself; demonstrating that just because our world is fallen and full of sin and death, He's still desiring to accomplish His perfect plan and will for us and in us.
Eight Chapter of Romans Verse 28:
“We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”
Many times when individuals are in the depth of their pain due to their loss, their attitude is to deny their loss, even becoming hateful to someone sharing the truth of God's Word with them, believing it wrong, maybe even thinking you are being preachy or insensitive to what they are going through. While timing of things like this is crucial, withholding the hope that comes from the promises of our Heavenly Father demonstrates a lack of compassion and love, for nothing aside from His love and power will set an individual free to move on and flourish after a fatal loss.
It is that incapacity to get moving with your life that's the topic of this article. We would’nt need to discuss moving on from loss if it didn’t have such incredible force to just keep us where we are, almost frozen in time, living life only in the past, as if today or tomorrow doe not matter.
There is understandably, a time and a season to grieve. Lacking the willingness to address your pain and allowing yourself to feel the pain and sorrow of it, will result in all sorts of additional emotional and physical problems latter on down the road. Your loss and pain needs healthy grief for healing, bringing healing to your pain takes time. However, the time is not intended to last forever. Cherishing memories and special feelings for a lost loved one is by all means important. Recollecting very special or joyous events that have occurred in your life and were good and wonderful. It can even be unhappiness from time to time as you feel the emptiness or face the changes loss has left you with, is good and acceptable but a lifetime of grieving isn't!
Lamentations three, talks about there being a season and a time for every thing and for every purpose under heaven, including mourning:
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.
If we choose to stay in a unending place of hurt and pain, we will miss all the best things your Heavenly Father has laid out and planned for you, which could be a tremendous loss, one beyond your comprehension. Your Heavenly Father is loving and revels in healing and restoration for everyone who calls on Him. He doesn't intend for us to journey thru our lifetime injured and lacking in our spirit or our body as a consequence of losses we experience. He desires to heal us to restore each of us and to bring glory to Himself. He is a God of new beginnings, wanting to be in your life, revealing His awesome power and His love to a dying world.
Isaiah 43 : 18-19 ( NASB )
Don't call to mind the previous things, or contemplate things of the past. Behold, I'll do something new. Now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it?
He wants us to join Him in the new things He is accomplishing, but we can not if we've shut our self off from what He offers, then we are destined to spend the rest of our lives in self-pity and despair.
One of the most detrimental decisions somebody can make soon after loosing a friend or family member especially that of a partner of a daughter or son or perhaps after a marriage break up - is they will never let themselves fall in love again. In their mind it will be to allow themselves to be subject that same devastating agony again and what person thinking correctly would do that? But to make a decision like that is to make certain that one is highly likely to miss more of the great things God still has planned for them.
A Grace Disguised, a wonderful book; author Gerald Sittser, who lost not only his wife but also his mother and a young daughter in a car crash talks about this very issue.
“The risk of further loss, therefore, poses a dilemma. The problem of choosing to love again is that the choice to love means living under the constant threat of further loss. But the problem of choosing not to love is that the choice to turn from love means imperiling the soul, for the soul thrives in an environment of love. Soul-full people love; soul-less people do not. If people want their soul to grow through loss, whatever the loss is, they must eventually decide to love even more deeply than they did before. They must respond to the loss by embracing love with renewed energy and commitment.”
After a loss it is important to begin expanding our hearts once again which can be a puzzling part of the healing God gives us. It is our decision to refuse or accept His healing or we can withdraw to guard ourselves, leading to a reduced soul and a very empty and meaningless way to finish living life. That withdrawal could be justified by saying another loss is too certain to risk it. Yes, most likely another loss could happen but God's love and power is even more certain to heal you. It does take some bravery to live again and it takes His power to love again and again. With Our Lord God, it means a fresh start and a reason to move on!
To learn more about pursing an intimate relationship with God and experiencing His love that will that will lead you to a life of freedom click on: How To Deal With Death
To Learn More Click On: How To Deal With Death
