From self-help advice on dating to sexual strategies to overcoming anxiety and shyness. Those who use these products are tempted to purchase again. Why is that?
There’s a strategy used by the creators of these products and that’s to satisfy an insecurity.
They don't work on handling the insecurity, they work on providing the demand it creates.
This is a typical advice I’ve seen on several dating/sex ebooks:
“Punish a woman if she says ‘not tonight’ by giving her less attention. Reward her with more attention when she does something you like.”
If she doesn’t want to have sex tonight why would you have to act on it? The basic communication being…man needs to use a mental “combat” technique because he felt rejected when woman said “not tonight”.
It fuels his insecurity if you haven’t caught that. The technique creates a self-perpetual loop of insecure emotions that’s hard to get rid of.
To keep you searching for ways to stay ahead of the “game” many books weave these kinds of techniques in the product. When actually it’s just a loop, being the illusion that you’re ahead.
It makes the buyer come back for more. Come back for the same products, just re-packaged.
Who is usually vulnerable to these tactics? Because the message being delivered is “you need to stay ahead” shy, socially awkward or introverted men tend to buy again and again.
What makes me say this? I decided to read and go through almost a dozen of such programs on dating & relationships…what I found is not only that it’s pretty much the same advice but that the material SUCKS! Nonetheless these books and programs are still selling.
I have yet to see a book or program out there that says “Here are the techniques to make a woman BEG to be with you. But if she’s acting up and you’re not getting the sex that you want then there’s probably some deeper underlying issue between you two. Leave with a positive note and end it. Because the techniques here get you more women than you’ll be able to handle so don’t waste your time playing games.”
Why “pretend” to leave her as a threat? Before the relationship gets sour actually LEAVE so you guys can stay on good terms.
Find advice that focuses on deeper issues to escape from that insecurity “loop”. The brains we have today isn’t so different from the brains people had 40 years ago. We essentially play out the same games from thousands of years ago even if we have different societal cultures.
We still act out the mating, status, acceptance game etc...
We have fundamental wiring that we can work with inside of us. It gets overwhelming trying to replenish surface level techniques, instead using these internal “wiring” you can forge strategies that last.
I published a book about the more deeper and powerful area of social dynamics and self-help BUT I’m not going to refer you to it…yet. It’s NOT for everyone so check out some of my articles first and see if you resonate with it.
If you want to learn more go to surfsocialwaves.com/blog
Talk to you soon!
Your friend,
Chris C.
