Everyone experiences loss. Nobody escapes this life unhurt by its cruelty and the pain and devastation it leads to. Though loss is universal in nature, every individual will experience loss differently. For some it may be thru the demise of a daughter or son or spouse. Others will face a brake up of their marriage or family and some will have a protracted illness or cancer or being let go from their employment and suffering financial loss. Your loss may arrive by way of a ruined reputation, betrayal by a good friend or rejection by a loved one. No matter how our loss arrives, when we lose something we treasured and of course is important to us, the agony and discomfort is inevitable, changing our life forever.
Having gone through a couple of significant losses in my own life, I know how debilitating loss can be. As I have matured in life and have grown in my knowledge and understanding of my Heavenly Father the realization that pain, heartache and that all my losses can be used by God to bring not only His healing but also my growing in Him. He has expanded the very essence of who I am. Not so I can become prideful of who I am for having dealt with my losses and overcame them, imagine the sadness, if there was nothing else in my life except overcoming losses. No, when God expands our soul, grows, and fortifies us, in the midst of our losses, its so our Heavenly Father will be able to open our eyes to a life that's larger than us; showing that just because our world is fallen and full of sin and death, He is still ready to do His perfect plan and will for us and in us.
Eight Chapter of Romans Verse 28:
“We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”
Often when individuals are experiencing their pain because of the loss they have suffered, their attitude is to deny their loss, even becoming hateful to somebody sharing the truth of God's Word with them, thinking it callous, insensitive or too preachy. Learning to know when it is the best time for such things is crucial, not revealing the truth and great hope of the promises of God demonstrates a lack of love and compassion, for ultimately nothing aside from God’s power and His love can set a person free to get past and thrive after a devastating loss.
It is that disability to get moving with your life that's the subject of what I am penning. We would’nt need to discuss getting beyond our loss if it didn’t have such incredible force to just keep us where we are, just about frozen in time or worse, living life only in the past, ignoring what is happening today or plans for the future as if it doesn't matter.
There is understandably, a place and a time to mourn. Not facing your loss and allowing yourself to feel the pain and sorrow of it, will result in all sorts of further emotional and physical issues latter on down the line. Loss needs you to grieve which is healthy, healing your grief needs time. However, that time is not meant to stay around for all time. Cherishing memories and special feelings for a lost loved one is certainly vital. Recollecting special or joyous times in your life are good and healthy. Even sadness from time to time as you're feeling the emptiness or face the changes loss has left you with, is good and acceptable but a lifetime of grieving is not!
Lamentations 3, talks about there being a season and a time for each thing and for every purpose under heaven, including mourning:
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.
If we decide to stay in a continual place of hurt and pain, we are going to lose out on all the best things God has planned for us in this life, which could be a loss of unspeakable proportions. Our loving God delights in restoring and healing for each individual who calls on Him. He does not intend for us to go thru our lifetime wounded and crippled in our spirit or our body as a result of losses we experience. He wants to heal us to restore each of us and to bring glory to Himself. He is a God of new beginnings, never not working in people’s lives, revealing His awesome power and His love to a dying world.
Isaiah 43 : 18-19 ( NASB )
Do not call to mind the previous things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I'm going to do something new. Now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it?
He wants us to join Him in the new things He is doing, but we can not if we've shut our self off from what He offers, we are certain to spend the remainder of our lives feeling sorry for ourselves.
One of the most damaging decisions someone can make soon after loosing a friend or family member especially that of a spouse of a daughter or son or perhaps after a marriage break up - is they will never let themselves fall in love again. In their mind it will be to open themselves up to that same devastating pain again and what person thinking correctly would do that? But to make a decision like that is to make certain that one is likely to miss more of the great life ahead that your Heavenly Father has planned for you.
In his book, A Grace Disguised; writer Gerald Sittser, who lost not only his wife but also his mother and a young daughter in an auto accident writes about just what you are going through.
“The risk of further loss, therefore, poses a dilemma. The problem of choosing to love again is that the choice to love means living under the constant threat of further loss. But the problem of choosing not to love is that the choice to turn from love means imperiling the soul, for the soul thrives in an environment of love. Soul-full people love; soul-less people do not. If people want their soul to grow through loss, whatever the loss is, they must eventually decide to love even more deeply than they did before. They must respond to the loss by embracing love with renewed energy and commitment.”
Expanding our heart to love again after loss can be a puzzling step in the healing God gives us. It is our decision to refuse or accept His healing or we can withdraw to guard ourselves, leading to a diminished heart and a very lonely way to spend the rest of our life. It would be easy to walk away from love because the risk of loss is simply too great. Yes, another loss may occur yet God's love and His power is even more certain to heal you. It takes courage for us to live again and it takes God's power to love continuously. With Our Lord God, it means a new beginning and why you need to move on while relying on God's power and not your own!
To learn more about having a relationship with God and experiencing His love that will that will lead you to a life of freedom go to: How To Deal With Death
To Learn More Click On: How To Deal With Death
