Loss is a universal experience. Nobody escapes this life unhurt by its cruelty and the discomfort and devastation it leads to. Even though we all face loss, every individual will have a different experience from the loss they face. For some it may be thru the death of a daughter or son or spouse. Some will experience divorce and the splitting of their family and some will have a protracted illness or cancer or being let go from their employment and suffering financial loss. Loss might come by the loss of your reputation, betrayal by a good friend or rejection by a family member. Regardless of how loss comes, when something is taken from us that we cherish and hold dear, the pain and heart ache that accompanies our loss is unavoidable and very often life changing.
Having gone through a couple of significant losses in my own life, I know how debilitating loss can be. As I have matured in life and have grown in my knowledge and understanding of my Heavenly Father the realization that pain, heartache and that all my losses can be used by God to bring not only His healing but also my growing in Him. He has expanded the very essence of who I am. Not so I'll become prideful of who I am for having overcome so much, for how sad would that be, if that were all I had to show for the losses in my life. No, when God expands our soul, matures, and strengthens us, in the middle of our losses, its so our Heavenly Father will show us a world that is larger than us; demonstrating that just because our world is fallen and full of sin and death, He is still ready to accomplish His will and His perfect plan for each of us.
Eight Chapter of Romans Verse 28:
“We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”
Many times when people are experiencing their pain because of the loss they have suffered, their attitude is to deny their loss, even becoming hateful to somebody relaying the message in His Word with them, believing it callous, insensitive or too preachy. While timing of such things is crucial, not revealing the truth and great hope of the guarantees of God demonstrates a lack of empathy and love, for nothing apart from His love and power will set a person free to move on and prosper after a fatal loss.
It is that inability to get moving with your life that is the topic of this article. There would not be any need to discuss moving on from loss if our loss did not have such incredible force to just keep us where we are, almost frozen in time, living our life in the past, as if today or tomorrow doe not matter.
There is of course, a time and a season to mourn. Lacking the willingness to address your pain and permitting yourself to feel the discomfort and misery of it, will result in all sorts of additional emotional and physical problems latter on down the road. Your loss and pain requires healthy grief for healing, healing your grief takes time. However, that time is not meant to stay around for all time. Remembering those memories you cherish is certainly crucial. Remembering very special or joyful events that have occurred in your life and were good and wonderful. It can even be sadness at times as you feel your total emptiness or the loss these changes in your life have brought, is good and acceptable but a lifetime of mourning is not!
Lamentations 3, talks about there being a season and a time for each thing and for every purpose under heaven, including mourning:
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.
If we choose to not move from a continual place of hurt and pain, we will lose out on all the wonderful things your Heavenly Father has laid out and planned for you, which could be a loss of unspeakable proportions. Your Heavenly Father is loving and revels in healing and restoration for everyone who calls on Him. God does not want us to journey thru this life injured and lacking in our spirit or our body as a consequence of losses we experience. He wants to cure us for our sake and for His glory and purposes. He is your God of a new start in life, wanting to be in your life, revealing His awesome power and His love to a dying world.
Isaiah 43 : 18-19 ( NASB )
Do not call to mind the previous things, or contemplate things of the past. Behold, I will do something new. Now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it?
He wants us to join Him in the new things He is doing, yet if we decide or refuse not to accept God into our lives, then we are destined to spend the rest of our lives in self-pity and despair.
One of the most damaging choices somebody can make after the loss of a friend particularly that of a spouse of a daughter or son or maybe after a divorce - is they will never let themselves fall in love again. They think to do so will be to allow themselves to be subject that same devastating pain again and what person thinking correctly would do that? But to make a decision like that is to ensure that one is likely to miss more of the great life ahead that your Heavenly Father has planned for you.
In his book, A Grace Disguised; writer Gerald Sittser, who lost his mother, his wife and a young daughter in a car crash writes about just what you are going through.
“The risk of further loss, therefore, poses a dilemma. The problem of choosing to love again is that the choice to love means living under the constant threat of further loss. But the problem of choosing not to love is that the choice to turn from love means imperiling the soul, for the soul thrives in an environment of love. Soul-full people love; soul-less people do not. If people want their soul to grow through loss, whatever the loss is, they must eventually decide to love even more deeply than they did before. They must respond to the loss by embracing love with renewed energy and commitment.”
After a loss it is important to begin expanding our hearts once again which can be a puzzling part of the healing God gives us. It is our decision to refuse or accept His healing or we can withdraw to guard ourselves, leading to a lessened soul and a very lonely way to spend the rest of our life. It would be easy to walk away from love because the risk of loss is simply too great. Yes, another loss may occur yet God's love and His power is even more certain to cure you. It takes bravery to live again and it takes God's power to love continuously. With The Lord God, it means a fresh start and why you need to move on while relying on God's power and not your own!
To learn more about pursing an intimate relationship with God and discovering His love that will truly set you free click on: How To Deal With Death
To Discover More Click On: How To Deal With Death
